Broken

I figure I must be broken

my will to destroy myself is gone

is this what happiness is?

satisfaction with myself

and a healthy mind

have I been alerted to a higher calling

my sleep deprevation allowing me to think clearly

my own smug self worth letting me be satisfied with sobriety

Is my life so good that another bottle of whiskey won't make it better

why

where did all the bad dreams go

the liquor once like drain-o

for my misery clogged mind

a sink full of dirty wishes

I could climb forever and never reach the top

but now that I'm looking down I wonder why I never stopped

was I really happy hoping for a better tomorrow

and now that it's here what is there left for me here?

Must I sacrifice my love of the drink for bliss

if so I gladly cast thee aside

who knew that my crutch was keeping me crippled for so long

I knew, but still I felt it did no wrong

I knew, but I hoped I was lying again