Broken

I figure I must be broken

my will to destroy myself is gone

is this what happiness is?

satisfaction with myself

and a healthy mind

have I been alerted to a higher calling

my sleep deprevation allowing me to think clearly

my own smug self worth letting me be satisfied with sobriety

Is my life so good that another bottle of whiskey won't make it better

why

where did all the bad dreams go

the liquor once like drain-o

for my misery clogged mind

a sink full of dirty wishes

I could climb forever and never reach the top

but now that I'm looking down I wonder why I never stopped

was I really happy hoping for a better tomorrow

and now that it's here what is there left for me here?

Must I sacrifice my love of the drink for bliss

if so I gladly cast thee aside

who knew that my crutch was keeping me crippled for so long

I knew, but still I felt it did no wrong

I knew, but I hoped I was lying again

Adventures in Sanity

but I prefer the dreams in my head to reality

because in my mind I am entertained and out here I'm just me

I'd sleep all day and night if given the oppurtunity

because I prefer the inside of my eyelids to your reality

Joining my body with toxic narcotic substances

the abundances of redundency leaves me astounded

while my head is resounded with psychedelic imagery

flattery will get me everywhere but achieve nothing

In my head the voices speak their mind

and in my mind, the voices are mine

so much better than real life I can do what I want

I can explore the many placets of life and not be distracted

by other people's responses to my ill-informed decisions

The dead come back to party once again

sorry about your shed

rocketfire bongloads washing the blood off my hands

I feel the need to tell you things, I still don't understand

I imagine a world free from restraint where I'm accepted for who I am

where everyone is lovely and beautiful and free

these dreams tell me the secrets my heart hides

revealing the truths that I am unwilling to admit

to spend a day inside my mind is fallacy

you'd need at least a century to discover my whole dynasty

I lie to me, I decieve and trick myself

I am honest in my dreams and in my dreams I'm always happy